Whenever I am doing anything else, which is most of the time, even if it is not something like robbing a bank, I feel felonious. Writing is what I'm supposed to be doing.

You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.

I hate academic mysteries. As soon as I come across the word 'don' and it's not someone's first name, I close the book.

Abandon the search for Truth; settle for a good fantasy

A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

Raisins are a thing that lasts, they come in small boxes, and you always feel like eating raisins, even at six in the morning. A raisin is always an appropriate snack.