I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man.

A man was found dead covered in sprinkles, strawberry sauce and a flake. Reports said he may have topped himself.

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were invited to a Christmas party. The Englishman brought a bag of tinsel, the Scotsman brought a bag of holly and they asked the Irishman: "What have you brought?" He said: "I brought a pair of knickers." They asked: "What has that got to do with Christmas?" He said "They're Carol's."

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p.

A man walks into a hospital feeling unwell and the doctor says: "Sorry, you've only got three minutes to live." The man said: "Can you do something for me?" "Yes," he said. "I'll boil you an egg."

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?