My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon.

A man up in front of a judge says "I don't recognise this court." "Why not?" "It's been redecorated since the last time I was here."

My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers.

I come from a family of musicians. Even the sewing machine is a Singer.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"