I gave my wife a kiss this morning. She jumped out of bed and did a lap of honour.

There was an Irish space program to go to the sun. They went at night so they didn't get burnt.

I was in the Far East and I went into a restaurant and I ordered octopus and the waiter said: "It takes four hours." I asked why and he said: "It keeps turning off the gas."

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Two Irishmen were passing a pub - well, it could happen.

Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

A man walked into a shop and asked, "How much are your eggs?" He said "£1.40 a dozen". He then asked: "How much are your cracked ones?" He said: "35p". He said: "Crack us four dozen."