Hey ugly folks, go get some cyanide and die.

I knew Jimi (Hendrix) and I think that the best thing you could say about Jimi was: there was a person who shouldn't use drugs.

The most abundant element in the Universe is stupidity

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.

Gave my money all to you, took my watch and pawned it, too.

If your children ever find out how lame you really are, they'll murder you in your sleep.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.