There is no accounting for tastes, as the woman said when someone told her her son was wanted by the police.

Our notion of an optimist is a man who knowing that each year was worse than the preceding, thinks next year will be better. And a pessimist is a man who knows the next year can't be worse than the last one.

Prohibition is an awful flop. We like it. It can't stop what it's meant to stop. We like it. It's left a trail of graft and slime It don't prohibit worth a dime It's filled our land with vice and crime, Nevertheless, we're for it.

Too much truth is uncouth.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Nobody can write such ironic things unless he has a deep sense of injustice-injustice to those members of the race who are victims of the stupid, the pretentious and the hypocritical.

And of all glad words of prose or rhyme, The gladdest are Act while there yet is time