Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

The best bet you get is an even break.

As we see censorship it is a stupid giant traffic policeman answering "Yes" to "Am I my brother's copper?" He guards a one-way street and his semaphore has four signs, all marked "stop.

Having imagination, it takes you an hour to write a paragraph that, if you were unimaginative, would take you only a minute. Or you might not write the paragraph at all.

There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.

Count the day won, when the earth, turning on its axis, imposes no additional taxes

Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.