Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Remember how excited you were when you turned five years old. Today, you should be 10 times that excited. Happy 50th birthday!

Ninety-two percent of the stuff told you in confidence you couldn't get anyone else to listen to.

If a man keeps his trap shut, the world will beat a path to his door.

As we see censorship it is a stupid giant traffic policeman answering "Yes" to "Am I my brother's copper?" He guards a one-way street and his semaphore has four signs, all marked "stop.

Every time we tell anybody to cheer up, things might be worse, we run away for fear we might be asked to specify how.