When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them

Money isn't everything, but lack of money isn't anything.

You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.

Count the day won, when the earth, turning on its axis, imposes no additional taxes

The best bet you get is an even break.

Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

One man's pointlessness is another's barbed satire.