I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement.
When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as though the strings are still in the cat.
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs.
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.