The world is a grindstone and life is your nose
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
If I could get my membership fee back, I'd resign from the human race.
I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.
He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the mattress half gone.
My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.