Television is the triumph of machine over people.

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.

A psychiatrists is the next man you start talking to after you start talking to yourself.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I'm going to Boston to see my doctor. He's a very sick man.

We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.

My hometown was so dull that one time the tide went out and never came back.