I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

The American arrives in Paris with a few French phrases he has culled from a conversational guide or picked up from a friend who owns a beret.

The world is a grindstone and life is your nose

An advertising agency is 85 percent confusion and 15 percent commission.

English coffee tastes like water that has been squeezed out of a wet sleeve.

A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 AM and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 PM to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished before lunch.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.