The description you have been given of the world is an aberrant one. It does not accept and give proper place to the nagual, to the mysterious unknown that is our heritage.

The danger in mysticism is that you push yourself too far into the nagual too soon. This is obsession.

We are so absorbed in our thoughts that every thought that comes through is a reality. We have to start to detach ourselves from thought and become aware that there are things beyond thought.

Tantric Zen is the awareness of the infinitude of all things. To gain that awareness, to be it, is enlightenment.

You might wish to try Kali's mantra. Kali is another celestial being. She offers very fast spiritual progress through intensity. Her mantra is "Kring!" When you chant Kring, chant it very intensely and sharply. Only chant Kring when you are in a high meditation.

Naturally there is reincarnation ... otherwise life would be pretty dull. All the patterns in this lifetime are results from patterns in other lifetimes.

Self-hate doesn't create enlightenment. It just causes you to not enjoy the current moment.