I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

I've got foundation jokes, the ones that got me where I am, so everything I do just builds on top of that.

When you're a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special.

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed.

I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.

You wonder why I only talk about my personal life. But that's all I've ever done.

Why would anybody connect to someone who has everything going for them? It's the person who has faults that people want to connect to. So people identify with certain insecurities on stage and just by me talking about my diabetes people come up to me after the show and tell me "Gabe, my blood sugar is out of control and I feel you". That's the first thing they say, they say "I feel you!".