I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble.

I don't have to worry about writing jokes. I just tell stories about things that have happened to me. As long as I'm alive and I'm living and I'm experiencing different things every day, the show will always change.

People can relate to someone who isn't perfect.

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake.

I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds.