My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off.

My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.

Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback.

I think when we stop putting labels and start worrying more about the performance, that's when you're able to cross over and make yourself a household name and go everywhere.

I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like "yeah he's a cute little kid" but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.

The first time I got on stage I was 10 years old and I did impressions. I did cartoon characters and I really got the bug for this life when I saw that people were laughing and saw the attention I was getting.

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn.