By the end of the semester [in the high school] I was the only one up in front of the class everyday. Actually I could have passed the class four times over because every time you got in front of the class you got extra credit.That was the only class I got an A in and it was the funniest report card because it read Speech - A but everything else was just D, D, D, D.

I remember seeing Eddie Murphy RAW and seeing people laughing and having a good time and that was the same response I was getting so I thought I was on to something.

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos.

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics.

Surround yourself with supportive people. All the negative people, man you have to push them aside.

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone.

If I speak Spanish in my show, which sometimes I do, I translate what I say. I make it where I can still be myself, but I make it to where everybody knows what the hell is going on and when everyone leaves, they're like "OK, I get it."