The first time I got on stage I was 10 years old and I did impressions. I did cartoon characters and I really got the bug for this life when I saw that people were laughing and saw the attention I was getting.

Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.

The only way I will do a sitcom is if it's hurled at me, and I don't have to work for it.

Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can't handle alcohol. The police know who you are.

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you.

Jeff Foxworthy had that whole "You might be a redneck" thing; Larry the Cable Guy had "Git-R-Done." Some comics have that hook. Dane Cook had that super finger. So I just caught on early on. I ran with "Fluffy."