And I don't want you thinking that my girlfriend is a bad person. She is an amazing woman, the fact that I only have seven stories about her in eight years, says a lot. You know, don't get me wrong, five of them happened this year, but that's still way below the bar, you know what I am saying.
Gabriel IglesiasPeople think if you have money, it'll fix the problems, but it creates different ones.
Gabriel IglesiasBelieve it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers.
Gabriel IglesiasThe only way I will do a sitcom is if it's hurled at me, and I don't have to work for it.
Gabriel IglesiasI started talking about things that everybody could relate to. And that's not to say I deserted my roots, I just found a way to talk about things in a broad way.
Gabriel IglesiasWalgreens, Rite Aid, CVS and Wal-Mart have all figured out the evolution of life and they grabbed all the products that are necessary for a life. And they stuck them in one aisle and they put them in order according to how you mess up... First thing you're going to see: condoms. Next to that: lubricant. Next to that: pregnancy test. Next to that: Pampers. Next to that: formula. And at the end of the aisle they sell beer.
Gabriel Iglesias