Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics.

I eat a lot of junk food, because that's what's usually available at 1:00am when I'm all done working.

By the end of the semester [in the high school] I was the only one up in front of the class everyday. Actually I could have passed the class four times over because every time you got in front of the class you got extra credit.That was the only class I got an A in and it was the funniest report card because it read Speech - A but everything else was just D, D, D, D.

You pigeon hole yourself by the title you give yourself.

I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day.

I know what it's like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it.

I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere.