I'm not fat. I'm fluffy!

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?!

There are certain bits in my act that will never change.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

Best advice, bro: Think big. Don't think small. If you think small, then you're going to stay small. Think (about) the broad scope.

I've already produced one hour specials for other comedians and I have a TV show called Stand Up Revolution where I showcase new talent and so I'd like to continue to do stuff like that and help out the next guy.

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight.