I go on the road all the time, but I'm only performing for two hours a night, and then I'll do a meet-and-greet, and then I'll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I'm in the next city.

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen.

If you surround yourself with a bunch of guys who no mas se quieren puro pari and are like, "Aaah, let's go get some chicks." Guess what? That's going to slow you down and keep your head somewhere else.

I try not to get political, I don't want to get religious, I don't want to get controversial, I just want to have a show that relates to everybody.

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives.

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started.

I just like The Little Mermaid cartoon. Say what you want. I have a fish tank, it's a long story. I have a fascination with the ocean, and you put a hot chick in there, it just adds more to it! I liked The Little Mermaid. It's a cool movie. It's one of those I watch over and over again.