My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind.

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work.

Well, like I said, there's no reason everyone can't have a piece of the pie, even if there's a gordo there eating most of it.

I'll walk up to a woman, I'll say the first thing that comes to mind: 'Hey, you hungry?'

I go on the road all the time, but I'm only performing for two hours a night, and then I'll do a meet-and-greet, and then I'll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I'm in the next city.

Aside from producing I want to direct but I'm also going to get back out on the road.

The girl voice is always going to kill because they don't expect it.