I got off the plane - I was walking and cooking at the same time.

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke.

I have no talent when it comes to pianos or guitars or any of that, even karaoke. For karaoke, I have to be wasted to get up there and sing.

I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can eat regular cake.

I did Popeye and Ronald Reagan and everybody was saying things like "yeah he's a cute little kid" but I started, little by little, telling stories about people I'd met and expanded my voices.

There are certain bits in my act that will never change.

Well, like I said, there's no reason everyone can't have a piece of the pie, even if there's a gordo there eating most of it.