How do you tell your mother that you feel you're getting... old? If I'm... old, then what is she?
Do you want to live in a world where a man lies about calories?
Volleyball is a Jewish sport. It's fun, and nobody can get hurt.
In heaven, you get right through. In hell, they put you on hold.
the first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole.
Fact: Girls who are having a good sex thing stay in New York. The rest want to spend their summer vacations in Europe.