How do you tell your mother that you feel you're getting... old? If I'm... old, then what is she?
In heaven, you get right through. In hell, they put you on hold.
She knew what all smart women knew: Laughter made you live better and longer.
the first thing I did when I made the decision to kill myself was to stop dieting. Let them dig a wider hole.
When friends ask for a second cup they are open to conversation.
Volleyball is a Jewish sport. It's fun, and nobody can get hurt.