I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.
Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it!
Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Ha! Easy for nuns to talk about giving up things. That's what they do for a living.
I write on a laptop, so it's impossible to count drafts anymore.
You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.