My generation was secretive, brooding, ambitious, show-offy, and this generation is congenial. Totally. I imagine them walking around with GPS chips that notify them when a friend is in the vicinity, and their GPSes guide them to each other in clipped electronic lady voices and they sit down side by side in a coffee shop and text-message each other while checking their e-mail and hopping and skipping around Facebook to see who has posted pictures of their weekend.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Give guilt - the gift that lasts forever.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.