Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either

That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.

A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Every show is your last show. That's my philosophy.

Secret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.

I can write anywhere. I write in airports. I write on airplanes. I've written in the back seats of taxis. I write in hotel rooms. I love hotel rooms. I just write wherever I am whenever I need to write.