You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog.

We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy, be patient: this will pass.

A child can educate just about anybody.

Vacation cruises are advertised as luxurious journeys to exotic places, but a chief pleasure is the reading of books ... . On steamer chairs topside or poolside, in the lounges, everywhere you see men and women with their noses in books, devouring them for hours.

Not everyone has a Life's Work. Some people simply have a Life.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

A married guy is responsible for everything, no matter what. Women, thanks to their having been oppressed all these years, are blameless, free as birds, and all the dirt they do is the result of premenstrual syndrome or postmenstrual stress or menopause or emotional disempowerment by their fathers or low expectations by their teachers or latent unspoken sexual harassment in the workplace, or some other airy excuse. The guy alone is responsible for every day of marriage that is less than marvelous and meaningful.