Children can find other children to be pals. Children need fathers to be fathers.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book.

I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about Lake Wobegon and get to the theater on time.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write if they don't feel like it. I say this as a competitor. I am not interested in encouraging people who are in competition with me.

Pumpkin pie is a living symbol of mediocrity. The best pumpkin pie you ever ate wasn't all that much different from the worst pumpkin pie you ever ate.