Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance; we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.

No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.

I'm a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.

The relationship between truth and a newspaper is like the relationship between the color green and the number seven. Occasionally you will see the number seven written in green, but you learn not to expect this.

I hear a little firecracker go off when you come up with a good rhyme.

I don't want them to be told to remember me.