Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.
Garrison KeillorSecret of life is to go through something harrowing that doesnt kill you...and to love one woman for the rest of your life.
Garrison KeillorThe reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You want to be the first to come up with the idea. You don't want to wait until you trip and fall off the stage.
Garrison Keillor