March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

To choose Norm Coleman over Walter Mondale is like going to a great steakhouse and ordering the tuna sandwich.

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.

God plays a lot of jokes on us to get our attention.

Childhood is the small town everyone came from.