March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

Intelligence is like four-wheel drive. It only allows you to get stuck in more remote places.

You'd learn more about the world by lying on the couch and drinking gin out of a bottle than by watching the news.

Not everyone has a Life's Work. Some people simply have a Life.

IMPORTANT Book reading is a solitary and sedentary pursuit, and those who do are cautioned that a book should be used as an integral part of a well-rounded life, including a daily regimen of rigorous physical exercise, rewarding personal relationships, and sensible low-fat diet. A book should not be used a as a substitute or an excuse.

A compassionate conservative is someone who electrocutes juveniles but lets them have a last 'make a wish'.

There is almost no marital problem that can't be helped enormously by taking off your clothes.