God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Sex is not a mechanical act that fails for lack of technique, and it is not a performance by the male for the audience of the female; it is a continuum of attraction that extends from the simplest conversation and the most innocent touching through the act of coitus.

A book is a gift you can open again and again.

Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it?

I talk in subjects and verbs, and sort of wind around in concentric circles until I get far enough away from the beginning so that I can call it the end, and it ends.

Those people on daytime TV talking about how their parents never gave them the positive feedback they needed and that's why they shot them- those are not Minnesotans.

I remember when I switched from Christmas to sex as the secret of happiness.