God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.

Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon

I love rhymes; I love to write a poem about New York and rhyme 'oysters' with 'The Cloisters.' And 'The lady from Knoxville who bought her brassieres by the boxful.' I just feel a sort of small triumph.

In California virtually everyone has had their teeth whitened. If they all smiled at once, they would give us a headache.

Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch.

The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance; we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries.

A child can educate just about anybody.