America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes.

All solutions are temporary, so why not go for duct tape?

Vacation cruises are advertised as luxurious journeys to exotic places, but a chief pleasure is the reading of books ... . On steamer chairs topside or poolside, in the lounges, everywhere you see men and women with their noses in books, devouring them for hours.

I feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money.

We all know you can get AIDS from sex, but did you know that you can get sex from aides?

Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door

Where I come from, when a Catholic marries a Lutheran it is considered the first step on the road to Minneapolis.