America of the future will be all malls connected by interstates. All because your parents no longer can their own tomatoes.

Marriage, friends, is a lifelong feast; love is no light lunch.

Don't pour the oil directly into my navel, pour it on my sternum and let it run down into my navel, you ignorant peasant.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

A person does feel sheepish picking on journalists, a class already so richly despised that if a planeload of them crashed in flames, most people would smile from pure reflex.

Bad things don't happen to writers; it's all material.

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.