Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

Never insult a writer. You may find yourself immortalized in ways you may not appreciate.

A young writer is easily tempted by the allusive and ethereal and ironic and reflective, but the declarative is at the bottom of most good writing.

People do what they are told not to do. It happens time and time again. Here on the frozen tundra, it is known as the Tongue on the Frozen Pump Handle principle.

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.