Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

The father of a daughter is nothing but a high-class hostage. A father turns a stony face to his sons, berates them, shakes his antlers, paws the ground, snorts, runs them off into the underbrush, but when his daughter puts her arm over his shoulder and says, 'Daddy, I need to ask you something,' he is a pat of butter in a hot frying pan.

English is the perfect language for preachers because it allows you to talk until you think of what to say.

I'm a lucky guy. I get to sit around every day and indulge in make believe and get paid for it.

When the country goes temporarily to the dogs, cats must learn to be circumspect, walk on fences, sleep in trees, and have faith that all this woofing is not the last word.

It's confidence; it has to be something good about getting old. One of the things is that you just don't stress about some stuff that made you so worried.

He was admired for never being at a loss for words and never wasting any either.