Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

To Norwegians, the polka is a form of martial art.

..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.

You can go your whole life and not need math or physics for a minute, but the ability to tell a joke is always handy.

TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle

Being rich and thin isn't everything.

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.