The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from wanting to host a standard-fare kind of talk show.

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.

I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.

It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.