After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.