I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

My first appearance as a guest on The Tonight Show was in '81.

The comic strip is what I looked at, and it's another reason I did it. The comic strip, where animals would comment on human behaviour, interested me.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.