I don't know why men are so fascinated with television and I think it has something to do with - if I may judge from my own father, who used to sit and stare at the TV while my mother was speaking to him - I think that's a man's way of tuning out.

I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I guess he wanted to see a little more sexual activity because in real life, in bed I think less is more and let the woman come to me. Frankly, I don't even need a woman there.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.