It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside.

Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon.

After making love I said to my girl, "Was it good for you too?" And she said, "I don't think this was good for anybody."

But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity of that, and I think I'm funny behind the desk when interviewing someone.

When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"