I think it's one of the main negative emotional ingredients that fuels show business, because there's so much at stake and the fear of failure looms large.

Was the Buddha married? His wife would say, "Are you just going to sit around like that all day?"

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the wheel. Then I went to take the driver's test and sat on the examiner's lap. I failed the exam. But he still writes to me. That's the really nice part.

Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders.

I'm good in bed, actually, and I think I could learn to be a good communicator, too. The only trouble with that is it leads to marriage.

First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on.