I think everything is fair game to a certain extent.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.