Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

Is it common for people to become a pothead at 40? Asking for myself.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

Ever drive by one of those things on the highway which tells you how fast you're going? I don't even pay attention to them anymore because I found a similar gadget in my dashboard... Some people slow down at those things... I don't slow down. I speed up and set the high score.

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.