Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.

I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.