Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.