Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.