If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

It was early on when I was really focused and obsessed with doing The Tonight Show and Letterman and stuff like that. Then, I quickly realized that those things don't make or break a career.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.