If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that they advertise on TV are worse than the actual illness they're supposed to prevent, that's like the hackiest joke out there now. If you're still doing that joke, that usually is an indicator of being mainstream, in a bad way.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

I just always wonder if I'm too obsessive about subjects. I try to avoid that.

I think of a lot of comedy being watched alone, for some reason. It's surprising to me that people are getting together to watch stand-up comedy.