It's a real valley when I talk about veal. And calf roping. People were sensitive about calf roping. Which I think is quite funny.
The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.
Don't go back over your life with a red pen.
I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.
I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.