I think everything contributes to your creativity.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.