Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

I went to Boston College. It's a Catholic college, yeah I had a nickname there: Jew.

For the first few years I wrote jokes and performed them word for word and then wrote tags for them and did that word for word and that worked pretty well. Now, I do almost all of my writing on stage and then record and listen for any new things and then I write those down.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.