What I need is an Urban Thesaurus. I know what money is what I need is 600 different ways to say it.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.

I was born when my dad was 50... It's weird growing up with a dad that much older than you. We'd go to the movies, we're both getting discounts.

My brother is a tax guy, and the way I look at it, it's like he's spending his life saving money for rich people. So I think making strangers laugh, at least having a creative component to your profession, is more manageable for me. I can live with that a lot easier.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

I think everything contributes to your creativity.