Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.
When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.
Don't go back over your life with a red pen.
As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.
I really shine in front of prominently Jewish crowds. Normally I really beat myself up, but as far as Jewish audiences go, I'm at the top of my game.
I hate nickels; they're quarter impersonators.