When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

With basketball, if a guy is having an off night you still can say he's a good athlete. But with a comedian, you see them in front of the wrong audience - and they can look like complete amateurs. It's remarkable.

I really think I'm at the top of my game right now, and I have the tools that I've learned over the years, so I feel really good about what I'm doing onstage now.

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was the quarter from behind the ear gag. He would never put the time in.