When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

There's a kiss at the end of the rainbow more precious than a pot of gold.

If you try to pop the unpopped kernels in the microwave, you go back in time.

Maybe a silver lining to growing old is being able to watch Usual Suspects for the first time, again.

Night to night, doing the clubs is a lot of fun too because you have a lot more freedom and you don't have to worry about swearing or going off the script or going long or going short. If you bomb, only a handful of people see it. On TV, a lot of people see it.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

I always wanted to make strangers and friends and family laugh. I was over ten years younger than my brothers. It was hard to get attention without some kind of gimmick, like athletic stardom or being funny.