When you're gay every party is a bad sweater party.

Would it be ironic if we had to go back to Iraq to rid it of the Al Quaeda that wasn't there before we got there to rid it of Al Queda?

I just can't dance like no ones watching. I tried but it's futile.

As a child I most closely identified with Charlie Browns teacher. Nobody listened.

I've always wanted to do more significant stuff. I think of myself as well-informed, but the hardest thing to do is talk about politics and current events and be funny and not just preachy.

Say what you will about Gypsy women, but they are remarkable assessors of blues guitar talent.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.